In all honesty, I am conflicted about sharing this post with you today. Typically I leave the difficulties of "real life" off my blog, and let it be a place to share inspiration and crafty things, but this past week has taken my husband and I on a wicked ride, and I really could use your prayers and support, so I hope you don't mind that I have decided to share my heart with you.
On Tuesday, Feb. 22, I went to a Doctor's appointment due to pain in my abdomen along with unusual bleeding. It was there that a pregnancy test confirmed that I was pregnant, which came as a complete shock. Many of our friends know that my husband and I have dearly wished to begin a family for many years, but the good Lord has had other plans for us. So this test result came out of left field. Due to the abdominal pain, I was scheduled for an emergency ultrasound as there was some concern that it was ectopic. Within 3 hours the blood work and ultrasound results were back. I was indeed between 5-7 weeks pregnant and it was most probable that it was ectopic. I was scheduled for urgent surgery that night, but they kept pushing the time back, and back and back. Finally they were ready for me, but while I was in the surgical prep area, (most likely about 10 minutes before they wheeled me into the operating theatre) the ectopic ruptured causing massive internal bleeding, and of course, the loss of our little one.
I was in hospital until Saturday afternoon, and am now at home.
As you will no doubt understand, at this moment, I am incredibly grateful to my doctors and family (who have been my champions throughout this). But I am also sad for the loss of a baby who was dearly wanted. I have already received so much encouragement from friends who have walked similar roads, and have been leaning so heavily on my heavenly father for comfort. I would sincerely welcome your prayers during this time.
Carolyn, I am so truly sorry for your loss. You and Rick are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Thank you so much for sharing, you are an incredibly strong woman.
Love you
~Rachel
Posted by: Rachel K | February 28, 2011 at 10:12 AM
I'm a long time lurker of your blog and always enjoy your creations. My heart aches for you and your loss. I'm so sorry. Just said a prayer for you and will continue to pray. (((hugs)))
Posted by: Virginia | February 28, 2011 at 10:57 AM
Oh Carolyn! My heart just broke as I read your post! I am so sorry for your loss! You are in my thoughts and prayers!! I know, personally, the heartache of wanting to have a child and I'm just so very sorry that this has happened. Get some rest! So sorry friend! Thinking of you!
Posted by: Robyn W. | February 28, 2011 at 12:05 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers lifted.
Posted by: scrapthat/dolly | February 28, 2011 at 01:01 PM
Oh, Carolyn, my heart aches for you and Rick. We may never know or understand the plan, but we must believe there is one. Turn your faces to the sun so you can feel the warmth of the many prayers being sent to heal your hearts.
Posted by: Kathie Hoffman | February 28, 2011 at 05:11 PM
So sorry to hear of your loss! Prayers are being sent your way....
Posted by: Sheila R | February 28, 2011 at 05:17 PM
Oh Carolyn, I feel so sad for you. I offer you a little poem to give you strength.
"Creation happens to us, burns into us, changes us, we tremble and swoon, we submit.
Creation - we participate in it,
we encounter the creator,
offer ourselves to him,
helpers and companions."
Martin Buber
Posted by: Dale T (Australia) | February 28, 2011 at 05:28 PM
I'm so so very sorry to hear of your loss. Many prayers and hugs to you & your husband.
Posted by: tina | February 28, 2011 at 07:11 PM
Thinking of you Carolyn!!! Xoxo
Posted by: Kim | February 28, 2011 at 08:09 PM
Tears and Prayers for you Carolyn
Posted by: Sherrie | February 28, 2011 at 08:28 PM
So, so, sorry for your loss :(
*hug*
Posted by: Trude Julie | March 01, 2011 at 01:23 AM
I really feel for you. Everything will be fine.
Margarita from Moscow
Posted by: Rita Andreeva | March 01, 2011 at 03:24 AM
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. :(
Posted by: Bonnie | March 01, 2011 at 04:44 AM
I am sending you love and prayers. So sorry for your loss.
Posted by: christy riopel | March 01, 2011 at 08:11 AM
oh carolyn, i am so sorry. sending you love & hugs and so grateful you were in the right spot when it got so serious.
xoxo
Posted by: kl | March 01, 2011 at 11:43 AM
Dear Carolyn, I send you many prayers and a lot of hugs from France...
Sun and hope...all over...
Nathaly
Posted by: Nathaly | March 01, 2011 at 12:00 PM
Carolyn....I am so, so sorry for your loss! I, too, know what it feels like to have empty arms. My prayers are with you and your husband!
Posted by: Jill Cornell | March 01, 2011 at 12:05 PM
Dear Carolyn! I am so sorry to hear such a bad news...Many prayers and hugs for you and your husbad!
Thinking of you!
Posted by: Tatsiana | March 01, 2011 at 11:07 PM
Oh this is so awful (( I am so sorry for your loss ((
Hugs, Tanya
Posted by: Tanka | March 02, 2011 at 12:06 AM
I'so sorry for your loss (((
My prayers are with your family!
My close friend has 2 healthy kids after ectopic pregnancy and with one tube.
There is always a hope!
Posted by: Yana | March 02, 2011 at 01:48 AM
I'm so so very sorry to hear of your loss.
Thinking of you Carolyn!!!
Posted by: zolushka | March 02, 2011 at 04:54 AM
Carolyn, my heart goes out to you and your Hubby, You are in my prayers and thoughts. Lots of hugs to you !!!
Posted by: Bonnie | March 02, 2011 at 06:34 AM
To suffer a loss like yours is to know a loss unlike any other ... it means letting go of a beautiful part of your life.
Posted by: SuZeQ | March 02, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Oh Carolyn, I am so sorry you have to go through this. What a very sad time for you I am sure. Remember if the Lord brings you to it, He will bring you through it. You have my prayers!
Posted by: Gina H. | March 02, 2011 at 02:51 PM
I am so sorry for your very real loss.
Posted by: Rebecca Ednie | March 02, 2011 at 02:56 PM